Catharsis
January 18, 2007 by Santosh
Smooth is the word which can never be used as adjective to describe my past 28 years. It has always been a roller coaster ride where I have seen more troughs than highs. Though this might not be visible to many as I perfected the art of cloaking my sorrow,putting on the plastic smile on my lips. But there is a limit to everything.
Now the inevitable is happening, I am breaking down, I can no longer carry the burden of numerous masks which people demand me to put on always. They need to be peeled off, though it might give pain but handling pain comes to me as swimming to fishes.
I keep on wondering whether I need to face this, am I destined for this or it is my creation ? Or is it the holy pyre that is needed for transfiguration ? Anyway, every passing moment when you struggle, either makes you stronger or teaches you how to handle failure (and even this ultimately make you stronger only). So the more you struggle, the stronger you become. But what to do, when you do not want to get stronger, there is no desire to be so, I do not wish to resist (which is the cause of struggle) I want to surrender or I should rather say I surrendered, but even then I am struggling. Probably this is to remind me that all the wisdome and all your wishes are nothing but a mere amusement for the almighty. Almighty loves playing games.
So what is next? Oh.. the same stupid thought. Planning future.. as if I have control over it. Almighty must be laughing, how foolish are these mortals, they plan as if they are God, they plan for months and years.. and then do not know of the next moment.
Bhai Kya hua, people like u are one in a million types, dont loose heart . Just think at such a young age you have already helped so many people in so many different ways, you have even given a lease of life to your young cousin.
This is a just a small eg, for your age you have done a lot.
Though I was not very close to you , but still I admire you as a person and a friend, if people like u chicken out poor souls like me will be clueless.
On a lighter note i din’t knew u liked Aishwarya so much, i wuld have tried convincing my dear frnd Abhishek…
Alok
@Alok - Thanks for the nice words.. I think you people’s support only made me do whatever i have done and lets see whats almighty has for me in future..
Aishwarya is fit for Abhishek only.. She does not fit the bill for me.. She lacks too many things…
Dude! almighty is laughing not on you but on this blog ” he he see man forms his own destiny and Mr San thinke mee….. sahi hai duniya main izzat badhegi”
And I know you are not confused, zyada socha to karo par deemag se sab kuch nahin…..